Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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