Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
