Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
