You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
