he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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