Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
