How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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