my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
