Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My feet surprised me
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
