hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
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