I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
