She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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