Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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