If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
