no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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