Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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