he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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