Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
