Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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