You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
