Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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