I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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