I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
