I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
