My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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