remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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