Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
