i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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