So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
