All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize