just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
