don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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