Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
