Already got asked if we're dating
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
