Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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