I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
