did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Quick, to the slutcave!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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