someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
