She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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