bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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