I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
