I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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