i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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