Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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