Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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