Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
