you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
