Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
