bring money and cleavage
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
