What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
