ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
