you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
