FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I have already put on my inside pants.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The Olympian is in my bed
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
